yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
