none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
