That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She said her name was "party"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
