If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
