Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
