There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
