no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
