I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
