I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize