you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
