I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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