Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
