I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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