Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize