Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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