Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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