She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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