nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she smelled like a LAN party
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
