I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
