My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
