I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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