Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So many bounce houses so little time
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
