he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
