I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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