i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
