Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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