I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize