Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
