So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
