I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
