The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize