We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
