Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
