I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I could fuck to npr.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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