i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
