As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
