Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
