the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
