I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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