he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
