We named our party play list daddy issues
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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