Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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