Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
