oh god the rape fog is back!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
