hotel room ftw
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
