got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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