Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize