is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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