why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
