Do you still have your period?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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