I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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