It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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