He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
well you can't waste a boner
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
