i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
