I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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