ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
