How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
