u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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