Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
