Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
