yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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