Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
