SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize