Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
