You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
